The Secretary

The Secretary is an offbeat comedy about safety, love, and guns in a world that's up in arms.​

Ruby runs a small-town gun company that aims to protect women by helping them protect themselves. With products like The Bridesmaid, The Babysitter and The Mallwalker, each of the company's guns is named after a woman who used a gun and saved a life--more often than not, her own. When an elderly secretary at the local high school confronts a threat in her office with six bullets, Ruby responds by naming her latest gun after the reluctant hero: “The Secretary.” But as production begins on The Secretary, guns start going off all around town--and no one’s pulling the trigger. THE SECRETARY is an offbeat comedy about safety, survival, and guns for a world that’s up in arms.


"...shines a dark and wry light on America's love affair with guns..."


"...extremely engaging, lightening-quick and whip-smart..."

Austin Chronicle


"...a strong statement about our crazed gun culture and the desperate need for a thoughtful solution."



"...relevant, relentless, and relatable."

Out Front


Production History


Development History

  • Ingram New Works Lab, Nashville Repertory Theatre

  • Capitol Stage 

  • Coe College

  • Hyde Park Theatre

  • Seven Devils Conference

  • Wordsmyth Theatre Company



  • ScriptWorks Finer Point Funding

  • Coe College Playwriting Contest

  • Runner-up, Princess Grace Playwriting Fellowship

  • Finalist, InterAct New Play Development Award


Wanna read it?

Click the link below to read the script and please reach out if you have any questions.


©2020 by Kyle John Schmidt.